As the release of Fifty Shades of Grey nears, my social media feeds become much more shorter as I obsessively click the "hide feed,"option in the hopes to stow away the gross displays of thirstiness from needy women all over, and in the process guard my heart, mind, and eyes.

No offense, but for the non-believer friends and family of mine this does not some to a surprise. But for the Christian women that I follow, I was pretty amazed at some of your obsessions with this movie.

I have been known to make comments about Christians watching shows like Scandal, where every Thursday the mistress, Olivia Pope is praised for being an independent, strong woman although she is having an affair with a married man. Then we have ABC's provocative series, Mistresses which follows four girlfriends who support each other in their journey to self-discovery all the while carrying on illicit relationships with married men and such.

Please, understand my heart. I am not saying that watching these shows or movies is a sin. But let's be honest with ourselves for a minute. Are these types of movies healthy for our walk with Christ? Is it glorifying God or the flesh?

One of the biggest things I hear from Christian women justifying their poor choice of entertainment is:

"It's only entertainment. Christians don't have to be boring."

Right.

I want to go back to this movie, Fifty Shades of Grey and share with you some lies Christian women are telling themselves to justify watching  it, and why it sounds ridiculous!

1. "It's just a movie." This lie has to be the BIGGEST. I have an honest question to ask you "godly" women. Would you watch this movie with Jesus sitting next to you? Seriously. Would it be just a movie then? The MPAA, in rating this movie used the phrase, "unusual behavior" to describe the movie's content. The Bible tells us in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, that it is God's will, for our sanctification that we abstain from sexual immorality, so that each of us knows how to possess our own vessel in sanctification and honor, not with lustful desires, like the Gentiles who did not know God. Do you really believe that watching this movie will not fill your mind with lustful desires? And how is a movie containing torture, sexual violence, domination and submission to someone who they are not married to honoring to God? God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous (Heb. 13:4).
   
   
2. "God doesn't want us to live a boring life." I am sorry, but when did you get the impression that the Christian life was boring? Tell that to the Christians being martyred everyday for their faith. It is not fun, but far from boring. This walk is far from boring! True, genuine enjoyment, pleasure, peace, and hope is found in Jesus Christ. Walking with God is not easy, therefore it cannot be boring. Got Questions said it best; "One writer describes growing in the Christian faith as being “on a never-ending downward escalator. In order to grow we have to turn around and sprint up the escalator putting up with perturbed looks from everyone else who is gradually moving downward.” Christ never deluded anyone into thinking it would be easy to follow Him (see Matthew 10:34-39). It’s not easy, but the hardships help prevent boredom." The world offers enjoyment, pleasure, and peace, but it is temporary. Lasting joy is found at the Cross.
3. "I am married, so there isn't anything wrong if I watch the movie with my husband. We can get ideas on how to make the bedroom more creative" As a wife married to a man that struggled with pornography and sexual sin for many, many years this statement has to be the saddest of all. Every single day I counsel women and wives whose lives have been completely shattered by sexual immorality. This particular statement also offends me. Marriage and sex were created by God to glorify God. How can Hollywood make your marriage better, when Hollywood marriages end daily? If the fire has burned out in your marriage, girl, you better get on your face and pray. Ask God to reignite your marriage. Pray for creativeness and an increase in your sexual drive. God created sex to be fun, intimate, sexy, inviting, steamy, etc... with your spouse in the context of marriage. Ask and it will be given to you (Matt. 7:7).  It is God's will that we enjoy our marriage and enjoy having sex with our spouse. There is no need to go and pay for filth to attempt to spice up your life. Often times wives in their desperate state succumb to desperate measures by introducing pornography and sex toys into their marriage in the hopes to set ablaze their sex life. But be careful that this right of yours in no way becomes a stumbling block to the weak (1 Cor. 8:9). My husband's pornography addiction and struggles with lust nearly destroyed our marriage. As his wife—his help-meet—there is no way that I could ever put him in a situation where his sexual sobriety could be compromised. How is watching a man sexually torture a young woman make me want to have sex with my husband? Thanks, but no thanks!

Over 30 percent of Christian women are addicted to pornography and struggle with lust and other sexual sins. Fifty Shades has been coined as "soft-porn" for moms. Statistics also show that women, more than men, are likely to act out their behaviors in real life, such as having multiple partners, casual sex, or affairs. A study conducted at Michigan State University found that young adult women who have read this popular erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey are more likely to exhibit symptoms of eating disorders and to have verbally abusive partners than women who haven't read the book [sott.net]. 

These are our Christian leaders, mothers, wives, teens that are not just struggling, but addicted to pornography. 

Pornography is considered to be more addictive than crack cocaine, because cocaine can be excreted from the body. Pornographic and sexual images cannot. Those explicit and lustful images neurochemically and permanently stay with a person, forever. 

So before you take your husband to watch FSOG consider this; If you get back home and have wild and passionate sex after the movie, how would you feel in knowing that he was turned on by from watching another woman have sex, and not from being turned on by his own wife.

That my dear, is adultery! And to think... you allowed it.

I will not act like I have not watched movies or shows that had sexual content. I have. But even in some of the shows I watch, when the sex scenes come on and I notice that it does not sit well with my spirit (and you will know), I will change it. The last thing I want to do is offend The Holy Spirit that dwells inside of me just to satisfy my flesh. If it makes me, or my fellow brethren uncomfortable, scared, etc., then it isn't worth it. The Spirit of God lives in each and everyone of His children and it will urge, and lead you into making the right decision. Don not ignore it.

Ultimately, follow your own convictions. 

But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28)

When we think of how it looks to "surrender it all to God," we think of the term, letting go and letting God, right? And that is good and all, but oftentimes God will use our current circumstance to bring us to a state of surrender.

God wants us to not only surrender our situation to Him, but to surrender ourselves to Him. [Tweet this!]

If you struggle with surrendering it all to God, my prayer is that these steps will help you:

1. Ask God to make you willing. Oftentimes this is the most essential step. If it just that hard to find the willingness to give it all to God, then pray and ask Him to change your heart in that area. Ask God for a willing heart and mind.
   
   
2. Be aware of your enemy. Remember that this is exactly where Satan wants you. The very last thing he wants is for you to completely surrender every area of your life to God. Pray and ask God for wisdom and discernment  to be able to recognize your enemies lies.
   
   
3. Surrender it all, little by little, step by step. A lot of times we are hesitant to surrender all control with fear that we will have to make drastic changes, and honestly, sometimes we just are not ready. But God is so kind and loving that He will move at our pace. As long as we are obedient in what He asks of us, He will lead us through step by step as we go along. 

Remember, only when we move out of God's way, can He begin to move in our life. [Tweet this!]

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5, 6)

Is there something you need to surrender to God today?

"Did you see what Sheila was wearing at church this morning?"

"Did you about what Tom did to his wife?"

I can remember many times people have tried to start conversations like that with me. Even worse, I remember starting conversations like that myself. Gossip is that “secret” sin that people try to conceal with superficial concern and erroneous motives but really it does nothing but stir up conflict because it comes from an impure place. 

Gossiping has two sides to it; first gossiping is when you say something that is true but with the wrong motives causing them to look bad to others. Secondly, gossiping is sharing information with others who were not meant to know such personal details even if without evil intent.

Now let us look at God's perspective on this gossiping. Proverbs 26:20 tells us, "Without wood fire goes out; without a gossip a conflict dies down." When you choose to not listen to gossip or to not spread it you help quench the problem. But when we listen to or partake in gossiping our words do nothing but add fuel to an already burning fire.

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

Growing up in the Catholic church one thing I always remembered and appreciated was the beautiful churches we attended. They looked imperial, with amazing stories woven in the walls and vaulted ceilings. But the one thing that always caught my eye was the classic stained-glass windows. When the sunlight shined through the panes of the glass a beautiful picture appeared and let out a mosaic symphony of colorful praise portraying parables and some of our great heroes from the Bible—most often Jesus. It was just glorious.

But have you ever looked through those same stained-glass windows at night? You don't see much. You might be able to catch a glimpse of each outline, but that is all.

The process to creating stained glass windows is quite painstaking, and involves soldering together individual panels of stained glass, sometimes in the hundreds. The pieces of stained glass are cut into various shapes and arranged, and the Artisan must have a good idea for how the window will look and feel when it is complete. The pieces are slowly attached to one another and then confined into a larger frame which will hold the window rigidly in place once it has been installed.

Did you know that our lives are like those stained-glass windows? Before we walked with Jesus, our windows [lives] were dark. But when we came to know our Saviour [the artisan], His light pierced through within each of His children and a beautiful picture appears with such brightness. He took the many broken pieces of our heart and soldered it together to create His version of beautiful. As we continue to grow in Christ, His light brightens, and our life's testimonies shine forth a rising beauty that intensifies through every test to testimony.

Can the people around you attest to the light shining through your life, especially when the storms hit?

When they look at your life do they see evidence that the Holy Spirit dwells inside, or has your sin and self-righteous heart created a soiled fabric that hangs, blocking His light from your witness?

Can they catch a glimpse of God's footprint's in your day-to-day conversations with your children, spouse, mother, or sister, friends. . . maybe even a stranger?

As we allow Jesus Christ to direct our marriages, our families, our relationships, and our lives, the result is a light that shines with such increasing power that every window around enlivens displaying a foretaste of what Heaven will look like.

Today, determine that you will live in God's brightness and reflect the Light in your life—that those around you will clearly see the testimony of your faith every moment they are in your presence.

The path of the [uncompromisingly] just and righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines more and more (brighter and clearer) until [it reaches its full strength and glory in] the perfect day [to be prepared] (Proverbs 4:18).

Can I be honest with you? As a young girl I had no problems making friends. I could get around a crowd of girls and just fit right in. But as I got older and experienced hurt and betrayal from other women, I became less quick to fit in. I will admit that at times I still tend to pull away with the fear that a friend may hurt me.

What I looked for in my worldly friends was completely different from what I want and desire from a godly friendship. I believe that the gift of friendship was one of God's greatest ideas. I also believe that just how God picks our our husbands to compliment us, He does the same with our friends. It has been said about marriage that where one lacks the other makes up for it. I know Jesus made friendship to work the same way.

I spent a good part of my life searching for genuine friendships. I always would get sad when I would hear women say, "We have been best friends for over 15 years." I thought, wow. That would be nice to have. I had close friends, but those were all worldly friends. Things happened that caused us to go our separate ways, and with others we just grew apart. Temporal friendships don't stand a chance when they are built on a temporal foundation. The slightest disagreement can wash away even 20 years of what you thought was an unbreakable friendship if it was not built on solid foundation. God, The Rock.

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

As Thanksgiving Day nears the rush that accompanies this season begins. But even through all of the craziness this season brings, we must never lose sight of the special meaning behind it.

Thanksgiving is more than just a holiday. It is a day of reflection. Reflecting on the goodness of the Lord and His blessings, and more importantly expressing gratitude towards Him for all that He has done and continues to do in our lives.

There are so many ways to celebrate God's goodness and His many blessings, and I wanted to share a few tips I gathered while perusing the internet.

Tree of Thanks – Take advantage of the fall leaves to build a Tree of Thanks. Send the kids to the back yard for a tree branch and some fallen leaves. Plant the branch in a pot filled with craft sand. As family members arrive for Thanksgiving dinner, let the kids give each person either a real leaf or a cut out leaf from paper and ask the guests to write something on the leaf for which they are thankful. Use either paperclips or Christmas tree ornament hangers to hand the leaves on the branch.

A Servant's Heart: Spend the Day Volunteering – Nothing will remind us more of how much we have to be thankful for than spending your day at your local homeless shelter or food kitchen serving Thanksgiving dinner.

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

Finding the right place, the right time, and the right way to enjoy uninterrupted time with God. 

I get it. Life gets crazy. If you're parent then you know that it can be like fighting tooth and nail to get to the feet of Jesus every day. If you're single and live with your parents or with roommates, you may also find it challenging to just spend time with God.

As Christians, our Spiritual health can be traced to how much time we are spending with God praying, worshiping and studying His word.

I don't know about you, but when I haven't spent time before God I am not the most gracious person. When we start off our day with Jesus, we become more like Him. We love more like Him. We look more like Him.

Getting in your Word, in prayer, and worship, are essential and crucial to knowing God's will and growing in your faith. But it can be hard to know exactly where to start. Make that time with God a priority even if you have to develop a balanced and realistic plan, and schedule out what you will do the night before if you have to.

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

I think all of us as women (and men) struggle with insecurity on some level or another; questioning and doubting ourselves. We tend to look outwardly for acceptance and affirmation to somehow establish some sort of identity. When we can't find it in others we just fake it until we make it, hiding behind the attractive facade we've created with the hopes that no one will see the insecure and broken woman behind that mask.

Insecurity is defined as, uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence; self-doubt; worry; unease.

I have battled with insecurities all my life, and if there is one thing I know for sure it is that if you are struggling with insecurity, you are struggling with other issues and when we get down to the nitty gritty of it all—it's root cause is rejection.   

As a young child my father cheated and then left my mother. He didn't come around a lot or made plans to see my sister and me, but never followed through. It left me feeling rejected. When it came to men and dating, I was extremely insecure. "Will he leave me too?" "Maybe, if I do this or that he will stay with me." You see that cycle?

Fast forward some years, and married, my husband had an affair a few months into our marriage. Although I had forgiven him, he was not sure he wanted to continue with the marriage. How does one get over such a betrayal, right? I was left feeling rejected, yet again, and insecurity followed not to far behind.

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

Do you feel like Jesus is holding out on you? 

Know that He has a great plan for you. You may feel like Jesus is holding out on you. You may feel like he is staying away during your times you need Him the most. I don’t know Jesus’ plan for you, but I promise you that His plan is bigger than yours or mine.Trust him.

Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. - Psalm 25:5

But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hand; rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors! - Psalm 31:14-15

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! - (Psalm 37:7)

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

Can I be honest for a moment? Sometimes I just wasn't in the mood to throw my hands up in the air and praise God. I would have a really bad day, and everything had been going wrong that could possibly go wrong! I would have rather crawled under a rock and throw myself a pity party. And, that accomplished what, you ask? Nothing. Exactly.

It took a long time for me to realize that amazing things happen when you praise God on your mountain-tops, but you praise Him even harder in your valleys.

Paul and Silas are the perfect examples of praising God during their valleys in Acts 16:25-34 {...}

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

As a Believer we all know that Bible Studying time (also known as, quiet time with Abba) is one of the most important times of the day.

Over the past few years I have changed up how I study to get a more in-depth study, or if I was in a hurry; just enough fuel to keep me running through the day. It's not about how much your in your word, rather how much word is in you. There is a difference between reading the Bible and studying [meditating on the Word] the Bible, and then actually living it out; applying it to your daily life.

Today, I want to share with you the different methods of Bible studying that I have used, and some have been shared with me. Some worked for me, and others didn't, but that doesn't mean they won't work for you.


[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

As I read the passage, it reminded me of our relationship with God. He provides us with the necessary tools so that we can bear good fruit. We have bibles, churches, Christian books galore, sermons, etc. The verse that really caught my attention was Isaiah 5:2, it states the man looked or expected that it should bring forth grapes. This tells me that the man didn't tend to the vineyard to ensure it's proper growth. He just expected that it would bear good grapes. 

When we are first saved, we have a zeal, a burning passion to share Jesus. We do all the right things, say all the right things, and we are living our great Christian life in our great Christian box. Then something happens. The fire burns out, the zeal diminishes. Our flame that once was for Jesus, becomes a cloud of black soot. Why? Because somewhere in between we stopped tending to our vineyard. We stopped watering it, we didn't care for the hedge placed around it, therefore letting outsiders destroy what we had planted.

Oftentimes we as Christians want the blessings that come with having a relationship with God, but don't want to put in the work. We won't read our Word; we won't go to church; we have direct access to God yet we don't have a consistent prayer life. 

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

It is that time of year again where we find ourselves setting goals and making resolutions that, according to Statistic Brain only 8% are successful in achieving. I will be honest with you. I use to make diet resolutions every year and by the time February came around losing weight sounded foreign to me.

This past year has had its ups and downs. It was a year full of busy seasons, quiet seasons, and wilderness seasons (a lot of these). This year, instead of resolutions, I have chosen to make commitments to myself and God. I want to share them with you in the hopes that they will help you start off the new year right.

1. Commit to forgetting your failures.

Paul gives us the best advice for this in Phil. 3:13-14, "Forgetting what is behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on towards the goal for which God has called me heavenwards in Christ Jesus." Don't let last years failures hold you down in the new year. The more you continue to dwell on the past, the longer it will keep you from moving forward into where God is leading you. Choose this year to be the year that you stop being chained to your past and past failures.

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

Cuffing Season is officially in full effect. This is the time of year when women and men everywhere give up their single status for cuffed up winter nights with a "cuddle buddy."

For the single Christian woman you know better than to take part in such worldly things . You are a woman of God. You are daughter of The Most High. You do not settle for random season flings. You only settle for God's best.

Urban dictionary defines cuffing season as: during the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be "Cuffed" or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.

So, how do you survive this cuffing season?

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

Surviving A Breakup With God's Help

Breaking up is never easy, whether you are the one doing the breaking up or the one being broken up with. Let's face it. Even for us Christians breaking up is never fun. But when it all settles, and we take a moment to reflect on the relationship it won't be long until we see where it all went wrong. More importantly, when we truly begin to seek God and His will for our lives—including love lives—then we can start desiring what He desires for our hearts. So, fear not, the Lord is with you during these difficult times.

1. Big girls do cry. It's ok to cry. There's no reason denying that it hurts. Sometimes getting a good cry in can be a catalyst to moving on and moving forward. Keep in mind not to spend too much time in this season though. Remind yourself of why you aren't together in the first place.

Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. - (Psalm 30:5)

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]