I think all of us as women (and men) struggle with insecurity on some level or another; questioning and doubting ourselves. We tend to look outwardly for acceptance and affirmation to somehow establish some sort of identity. When we can't find it in others we just fake it until we make it, hiding behind the attractive facade we've created with the hopes that no one will see the insecure and broken woman behind that mask.

Insecurity is defined as, uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence; self-doubt; worry; unease.

I have battled with insecurities all my life, and if there is one thing I know for sure it is that if you are struggling with insecurity, you are struggling with other issues and when we get down to the nitty gritty of it all—it's root cause is rejection.   

As a young child my father cheated and then left my mother. He didn't come around a lot or made plans to see my sister and me, but never followed through. It left me feeling rejected. When it came to men and dating, I was extremely insecure. "Will he leave me too?" "Maybe, if I do this or that he will stay with me." You see that cycle?

Fast forward some years, and married, my husband had an affair a few months into our marriage. Although I had forgiven him, he was not sure he wanted to continue with the marriage. How does one get over such a betrayal, right? I was left feeling rejected, yet again, and insecurity followed not to far behind.

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

Learning to love like Jesus when your spouse has betrayed you.

I can imagine the look on your face, when you read that title. I know, because I was like that once upon a time. The thought of loving my husband after I had discovered his indiscretions in our marriage was the furthest thing on my mind, or my heart. Before anything let's look at what the Bible tells us love is:

Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

— 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 [AMP]

Now that's a mouthful, huh? Love is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Well, I have failed that plenty of times.

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]

Few challenges in life are as difficult as regaining a wife’s trust—and few are as ultimately worthwhile. Trust can be rebuilt in your marriage! With patient, loving, self-sacrificing effort, it’s possible that one day your wife will risk her heart with you again. And she may even have more respect and love for you than before.

In Worthy of Her Trust, Jason Martinkus relates how he repaired his own marriage after revelations of sexual addiction. Along with Stephen Arterburn, Jason offers exercises and tools rooted in counseling principles to help your marriage begin again. This comprehensive guide discusses: 

• How to be truly and effectively transparent 
• ·Combating the “he must not love me” myth and other untruths
• What to do about the Internet, office temptations, and travel
• Encouragement for wives who wonder if trust can ever be restored 
• The “five-minute phone call” and other daily trust-building strategies
• What meaningful forgiveness and restitution look like
• The Amends Matrix—a concrete exercise to admit past wrongs and cast a vision for a faithful future

Including insights from Jason’s wife, Shelley, Worthy of Her Trust guides you through the process of rebuilding your relationship so it is stronger than ever.

Now here are my thoughts. . .

What I liked: Overall I enjoyed the book. I highly recommend this book to an couple that has or is experiencing infidelity and sexual sin in their marriage. Jason is transparent with his transgressions and strategies helped restore their marriage. I really liked the five-minute call rule and the T-30 Journal exercise.

Here are few points Jason made that I highlighted. . .

"There can be authentic forgiveness by the violated party, but if there's no true repentance and change on the violator's part, trust will remain elusive."

Rebuilding trust requires you to be forgivable, regardless of whether she is willing to forgive."

"We can choose our own road to instant gratification and pleasure, or we can lean into God, practice faith, and allow him to be enough for us."

Purchase your copy of Worthy of Her Trust here.

Let's face it, sometimes life is just downright difficult. Then you find that you begin to fear the uncertainty of the future. So what do you do? You worry. You worry about relationships, finances, health, our families, and the list goes on.

If you are like me—a "worrier" by nature—it is probably time to rethink the way that you think! By now you have probably formed the unfortunate and unhealthy habit of focusing too intently on negative aspects of your life, and focusing less on counting your blessings. 

This is not how Jesus wants you to live your life. He wants your burdens in exchange for His peace. He wants you to take your worries and lay them all at His feet...and leave them there. When you learn to worry less and trust God a little more you begin to experience a peace that surpasses all understanding. Not a interim peace that comes from taking a hot bubble bath on a stressful day (although it helps), or from a rather large glass of wine (not too bad either) after a viciously long work day. No. It is an indelible and abiding peace that can only be found when we relinquish all control in every area of our life and allow Jesus to lead. 

[Read the rest of this article at Whole Magazine.]